Mull: Class Act On Tour

News 3 Dec 2024

9 young people / 1 week / 8 plays

Our first stop of 2024 was to the Isle of Mull to work with a class from Tobermory High School. Two of the Traverse Team headed over to deliver 4 days of writing workshops. The creativity was truly unleashed with pieces written individually, in pairs and with whole class group efforts.

We then had from the Thursday evening until Friday lunchtime to piece them together with actors and musicians to present back to the young people and their peers at Mull Theatre. From this anthology collection you can expect epic detective cold case dramas, sci-fi adventures scrutinising capitalism and a farcical bank heist set in the Tobermory Virgin Bank.

This iteration was a true celebration of the different formats Class Act can be moulded into to best suit a community. Traditionally we have done weekly workshops over the course of a school term. On Mull we were given undivided attention to focus on creativity, writing and self-expression for a whole week. The result, an incredibly focussed and creative group of young people that at the end of the project reported increased confidence, feeling like their ability to express themselves had improved and feeling more connected to their local arts venue.



Enjoy this whole class piece:

STARSHIPS
by Roxy, Ewan, Ava, Flora, Orla, Max, Nika & Erin

PILOT Captains log. Day 94. We’ve officially past a week without food. We thought we’d have found a planet by now but the navigations system has gone whack. We’re entering unknown space. I told the celebrities and the poshos they had to ration but they’ve eaten it all. At least HannahBot listened to me.

HANNAHBOT At least I don’t need to eat. A battery a day keeps the scrappers away.

PILOT There’s a space object in the navigation. Probably just an asteroid.

MICKIE NINAJ and ORTEGA MACNAMARA enter.

MICKIE If I don’t get my food soon you’re on the menu.

ORTEGA This absolutely outrageous.

MICKIE We’ve paid good money for this. We’ve worked so hard.

ORTEGA You’ve never worked a day in your life.

MICKIE Girl. You used to sit in an office all day telling people what to do.

HANNAHBOT My scanners are sensing conflict. Would you like me to diffuse the situation with a knock, knock joke?

MICKIE/ORTEGA No!

HANNAHBOT Knock, knock. Who’s there? Anne. Anne who? Anne Droid.

The SPACESHIP laughs.

ORTEGA (Sarcastically) Ha. Ha. Ha. That was so funny.

HANNAHBOT Thank you. That was one of a thousand jokes I have in database would you like some more.

MICKIE/ORTEGA No!

MICKIE Pilot. Can you unplug his Ass?

PILOT No, we’re not unplugging. He’s probably the chance we have of finding something out here. We wouldn’t be in this mess if it wasn’t you.

ORTEGA All I did was make money. I actually helped the planet. I’ll have you know I invented –

MICKIE - Didn’t yo ass invent those super jets.

ORTEGA Well you’re the one that used them.

PILOT You’re both so selfish.

MICKIE I might have created a hole in the ozone layer but at least I never left my family behind to be space monkey.

PILOT I had no choice.

HANNAHBOT The space object known as asteroid is entering the airlock.

PILOT How could an asteroid enter an airlock.

HANNAH Unless it’s not asteroid.

They hide and the ALIEN enters. It’s one actor but with three distinct personalities.

ALIEN I am Blyrp, Gorg and Marcus 284. I am three aliens but I inhabit one body. It’s like an alien timeshare because we all arrived in this body at the same time. Don’t ask how this happened.

MICKIE What in the spaceshit is happening right now?

ALIEN Blyrp have a safe planet to offer to you. Gorg can take one of you to paradise, but the rest must die. Marcus 284 here, that’s the deal.

MICKIE I volunteer as tribute.

ORTEGA I am the most valuable person here. I have the highest IQ and the most amount of money.

PILOT Nobody gives a fuck. They’re going to ruin your planet just like they did ours.

HANNAHBOT I do not need a spot. I will stay here with my good friend the ship.

ALIEN Brlyp thinks you should have a talent show. Marcus again, You need to show which of you humanoids can prove yourselves. Gorg give you 30 seconds each. Gorg gets to eat the losers.

PILOT Sounds like a deal.

MICKIE Stand aside, I’ll go first.

Mickie was meant to fly

So take me up above the sky.

Gotta get to yo planet see

I know youll choose me cause you a gee

I’m so much better than this girl

So you should take me to your world

I aint that much trouble sheesh

All I’ll do is to do the space beach-each.

MICKIE jumps to the splits.

The ALIEN puts their fingers on their temples uses their cold eyes to paralyze MICKIE.

ALIEN You do not have the X Factor. Marcus 284 will paralyze you now until further notice. Gorg will eat you later.

PILOT Me next, first of all I’m not going to ruin your planet like they are. I had nothing to do with what happened on my home planet. I can tell you what life was really like back on planet earth. I lived a normal life, how the people really lived. Not like these douchebags. I’m the only one here who can fly ships.

HANNAHBOT Technically I can also and my friend the ship can fly himself.

ALIEN Blyrp says, 30 seconds up over. Next up.

ORTEGA First of all, I did not ruin the planet. Maybe invented some messed up stuff but it was others that abused. Instead of making a case for myself, let me tell you why you shouldn’t bring the Captain. You can’t trust her. She abandoned her own family to be here. And she’ll abandon you too.

PILOT She’s a liar. I did what I had to get success. You of all people should understand that.

ALIEN Brlyp, Gorg and Marcus 284 are uninterested.

The ALIEN puts their fingers on their temples uses cold eyes to paralyze them.

ALIEN Gorg will eat you all now. None of you have it takes. Bylrp think we should take at least one. To complete the mission. Marcus 284 thinks we should have taken the pilot. Gorg will eat them all. Gorg hungry.

HANNAHBOT My senses are detecting conflict. How about a space joke to diffuse the situation?

ALIEN No.

HANNAHBOT How do aliens organise a space party? You planet.

The ALIEN laugh their heads off.

ALIEN Gorg, Blyrp and Marcus 284. Hahahahaha. You’ve got it. You can stay robot. You can stay.

HANNAHBOT takes a draw of a space cigar.

HANNAHBOT Can I bring bestie spaceship with me?

ALIEN Sure. Gorg wonders if it’s ok to commence the feast on your human friends.

HANNAHBOT Fuck it. I’m finally free.